ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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