The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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