He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
