please come you make the beer taste better
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
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