you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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