he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
