Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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