Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
