I didn't shave. On purpose
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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