There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
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Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
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Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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