I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
