guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
As shirtless as possible
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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