Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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