The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
