how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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