And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
