whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize