Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
