Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
