porn star boner night. come get it.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
false alarm, still single
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