He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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