I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I could fuck to npr.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
