Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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