"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize