Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
North Korea, Best Korea!
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
