is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize