watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I just found a bag of teeth...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize