hell yes lets make some ravioli
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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