We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
