nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Do you still have your period?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
