Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
