Where did you get a picture of my penis
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
