I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
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Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
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I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever