It's a beautiful day for a hangover
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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