onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
God, I missed his penis.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
