belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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