I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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