Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
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So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
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Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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