pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
