WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize
