my vag is so smooth its legendary
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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