his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
