if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
