So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glass in half.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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