someone owes me an orgasm
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
