Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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