OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize