So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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