New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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