i permit you to call me
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
