I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Drake has all the answers
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
