Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
