sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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