It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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