Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize