The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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