My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize